So there is this older couple that comes into the bar I work at. Their names are Lonnie and Red. They're a pretty cute couple and everything so they always take me by surprise whenever they say something dirty.
As you might know from my other blog, I own a software company and I have some secretaries. A few of the regulars have met them, because they've picked me up when I get too intoxicated when I go in there when I'm off of work.
One day Lonnie begins talking to me about how she's pretty sure that pullout beds are tax-deductible. I was a bit confused, but then she went on to explain that I should have one in my office. You know, just in case we have to "work overnight" or my secretary is exhausted and "needs a massage." I don't remember all of what she said, but there was a good 5 minutes of making sexual innuendos and winks and nods to make sure I knew what she was talking about.
I was blown away, but I thought it was hilarious. She followed this up tonight while I was covering for someone at the bar. There was a nice looking gal over at the other side of the bar that was talking to my parents, and Lonnie had apparently talked to her earlier and approved of her to be my secretary. Lonnie told me that this girl "was extremely beautiful and would look really nice on my couch at the office...I mean answering phone calls."
I just chuckled at her when she continued about the girl's husband she just noticed, "If that's her husband, you'll have to get rid of that son of a bitch first." Coming from an older lady, I just couldn't contain my laughter. Her and her husband Red always make my work there more enjoyable.